Ice Camp 2012

Had a most amazing time with some of the youth in Elev8 this past weekend at our winter retreat, now known as Ice Camp. It was at Bair Lake Bible Camp in Jones, MI, and it was amazing. The entire feel of the weekend was great. The kids learned to embrace the "weird" withing, and to be honest, so did I. But I rarely make it away from anything involving elev8 without learning somethings my self. I enjoyed spending time with the kids and fellow leaders. Truly enjoyed getting to know the hearts of the girls this last weekend. We were able to share from the heart, and it amazes me how they open up when they feel they are safe and not judged. God is good and continues to grow in their lives.... and mine, too, I guess :)

.....

I refuse to be controlled by my feelings.

I choose, instead, God's truth and unending love.

Guarding my heart and mind is feeling like a full-time job these days...

and I'm getting tired.

My mantra.... which I literally say to myself all day long :

God is good.
All the time, my God is good.
He knows the plans for me.... more than I can ever understand, that He has my life in His very capable hands.
Jesus, give me peace.
Jesus, give me peace.
Lord, fill me with your peace.
Help me to live in this day that you have given me.
Father, please give me peace to see beyond this moment.

Bucket List

Yup.
I have a bucket list, BUT ....
my dog ate part of it a few months back, so I have some scraps of the wreckage formerly know as my bucket list.

It consists of many things.
Places I want go and explore.
Things I want to do and accomplish.
Things I want to experience, just so I can say, " hey!!! I did that !!!"

The list goes on and on, and as the days, weeks, and months go on, my list grows.

I am okay with my list growing. It means I desire to dare. Desire to be courageous.

I want to live a life without regrets, and a life without fear of failure.
Because what do I really need to be afraid of? People look at me and see a person that isn't afraid. That is daring. spontaneous.
I want to live up to that.
Not because its what others see and expect, but because it's what I want and NEED to see in myself.


I can do it, because I live this life once.
I have one life to make an impact on as many people as I can.
I have one life to LOVE like crazy.
I have only this life to let the Light of Life shine brightly through me.

So here are a few items on my list. No particular order, because I can only recall a few of them without looking at my ever-growing list ;)

Go to Alaska
Visit Ireland
experience the Philippines and meet the rest of my family :)
Change someones life
Be a radio DJ
Open my own bakery/cupcake shop
Go on a missions trip
ride the trolley in San Francisco
Marry the man God had made for me <3
Become a mother <3

again, this is just a fraction of my list, seeing as how my list grows with every passing day.
I won't consider it a failure if I don't accomplish everything on the list, although there are somethings on this list that I would love to experience sooner than later.
It won't be a failure, because if I continually work towards accomplishing this list, then my life is becoming more full. I will be impacting people along the way. I will be experiencing God's creation.

i think the most exciting thing of all is the anticipation on which ones i will get to cross of the list.
I am choosing to trust my Creator to guide me in this life, until I see Him in the next.
Scary, but exciting.
How can i not be excited for all that God has in store ?

This is good stuff, people :p

Flying my Freak Flag

Source: thecodeis1234.wordpress.com via Christopher on Pinterest

Just saw this on Pinterest.
Kinda' perfect timing, actually.

I know I am weird. random. silly. crazy, even. I am okay with that... because it is who I am. It's what I do. It's what makes me ME.

But sometimes, I feel like I should be different; change who I am. Change how I behave and act. Temper myself a bit. Calm down ...

Maybe if I did do that, things would be different. "good" different and "bad" different. I don't really know ....

Thoughts running through my mind as I battle the eternal enemies of self-doubt, self esteem, and growing up. People don't always understand that,though I may come across as a confident individual, that is not always the case. I doubt myself in many avenues of my life. I doubt my abilities...my gifts.

Please don't misunderstand what I am saying .... I know I am the child of The King. I know I am blessed and highly favored. I NEVER doubt where I stand in Christ and my relationship with Him.
It's ALL on my end.
The evil one trying to steal my joy.
Dang him :/

The Good News: I am loved. I am me. I am an original, no matter how weird and crazy I am.

.... I just may develop a complex of sorts.

no. big. deal.

uhhhmmmmm ..... yeah

way too many things running through my mind these days.

People, places, ideas. Funny things. Sad things. Complicated things. Exciting things.

Possibilities.

One thing remains the same... apart from the constant sick feeling in my stomach :/

God loves me. He is looking out for me. He is guiding my life, and the lives of those around me, moment by moment.

other things running through my mind:

God is able.
He directs my path.
His love is like a hurricane, and I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
Rich or poor, God I want you more than anything that glitters in this world...
His love endures~ FOREVER His love endures
Walk by faith not by sight.
I love you with an everlasting love

Most of these are bits from songs, seeing as how music <3 is my remedy .... but nonetheless, these are truths that I needed to hear... truths I need reminding of every second.

But each day the Lord pours His unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing His songs, praying to the God who gives me life ~ Psalms 42:8

Random, I know.
but I am random.
My thoughts are all over.
it's okay.
I know I am weird ;)

Doors and Windows

Doors and windows.

When they are open, you can see through to the next room. The wind blowing through the trees. Family and friends laughing. Someone pulling into your driveway. You can feels the cool autumn breeze blowing on your face. Smell dinner cooking away.The three little rabbits that live in your backyard eating your flowers. The smell of fresh cut grass.

When windows and doors are open, you have a glimpse into what is going on in the world around you. You can see whats coming at you.

When they are shut, you are closed off to things. From the crying baby in the next room. From the sound of your neighbor mowing his lawn. You can't see the weather shift outside. There is a lot you can't be apart of if both your doors and windows are shut.

I could go a few different directions with this one idea. But these are the thoughts that have been running through my head lately. The words "doors and windows" keep playing like a record in my mind. I hate it. But, at the very same time, it is reassuring. Comforting even.

We have all heard the saying that God never closes a door without opening a window. I know this phrase has truth to it. Never in my life have I been so desperate for God to open a window for me. I feel doors shutting all around me, and sometimes I feel like I might go crazy. But I know there is a window. And I am just going to have to trust in the fact that when the Lover of my Soul decides to open a window in this room I am in, that I will be able to walk to that window and breathe deeply. He is good like that .... ever faithful and true :)

I don't know where He is taking me. But He has me here. Now. In this moment. And He brought me here. What am I to do ?? Tell the God of the universe that He is crazy and doesn't know where He is going and what He is doing ??? Uhhhh ..... NO. I am not the one driving this car ....

In the mean time, Father God, help me to sit patiently in this room. Help me to remember that I am not alone in here.... that this is a waiting time for me. A time of rest, prayer, relaxation. A time to just sit under Your wings and let Your love pour over me. A time for you to shape me into the woman you would have me to be. Help my heart and mind let go of the things I need to let go of. Ease the pain of this transitional part of life. Increase my joy. Fill my cup untill it runs over. Remove anything that you find undesirablre within my heart.

Oh, biscuits ..... here we go :)

It's been awhile. I feel like so many things have gone on. Changed. Still yet, many things remain the same.

*** this was a draft for awhile, so if it feels like I am talking about summer like it was yesterday, it's because at the time I originally wrote this, summer WAS yesterday :D ****



It's been a great summer! Long, lazy days by the pool. Family. Friends. Spur of the moment trips to places not so close to home. Changes ...





Changes are bittersweet for me. We moved alot when I was young,so change was inevitable. So I learned to enjoy the challenges of moving-new rooms to decorate, new friends, new schools. But the very things I looked forward to, I also was apprehensive about. This is probably why I am so good at just walking up to people and introducing myself, saying hi, etc. I guess it's a sink or swim kinda' deal ... I chose to swim :)


This summer was no exception. We as people tend to just fall into a rhythm of things. It's easy. it's comfortable. And again, as people, we are creature of habit and comfort :)


I guess that's why I am a bit bittersweet about seeing this summer come to and end. Now, normally, I greet fall with open arm, as I hate the humidity of summer, but I'm not as anxious this time around. My beautiful, loving nieces are turning eight and nine. My most handsomest little "nephew" turned one. I said so-long to my "adoptive" brother as he headed off to college. Maybe it's me being hormonal, or maybe it's the fact that I turned 30, but I am just having a harder time with theses types of things lately.


All of these birthdays, graduations, people moving are reminders to me of how precious our relationships are... of how precious our time is.


I don't regret loving people. I don't regret building relationships, however long or short-lived they are. I won't take back a second by the pool. A second on the phone. or on FB connecting with those I care about....... I wont take back the late nights, the early mornings , the long car trips, the long lazy days, texting, the short weekends, the laughter, and even the tears.

Life is short. I am trying to make memories here, people ;)